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Showing posts from September, 2021

for a pessimist I'm pretty optimistic

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  Since my blog has been just a lot of negative thoughts lately, I have decided to change it up this week with some things I enjoy in my life :) also pretty happy with the name of this post as it is not only the name of my favorite Paramore song, but I also found it very fitting.  one positive thing is the grade I got on my microtheme !! I got an 87% which is not too bad, but I mainly enjoyed the feedback I got. I really appreciate when teachers give feedback because it allows me to correct and better myself because I know what I can improve on. Another thing is now that I have been working and going to college for a few weeks, I am starting to get the hang of my schedule (knock on wood!!). I am still very busy with plenty to do but atleast I have something to do. another thing I am grateful for is my dog, photo included above, because after a long grueling shift at work, or a hectic day at school I can come home to her and wind down. She hasn't always been easy to deal with, but i

stress of social media + life

 honestly something that has been really stressing me out lately is social media. in a way, it is like constant competition with peers and the rest of society. i know that social media is an inaccurate portrayal of someone's real life, but sometimes when i'm scrolling through Instagram or Tik Tok I feel like i'm not doing enough in my life. Like I don't dress trendy enough, or do trendy things. It makes my anxiety skyrocket through the rough, so one would think that I would delete my socials right? Instead I become attached to it and scroll mindless through my social media for hours. I use it as a distraction from my actual thoughts becauses sometimes existing can be debilitating.  sometimes I see these "influencers" and get so jealous because they make money simply off social media. A majority of influences have dropped out of school and make money through sponsorships and brand deals. So when they post themselves working out and eating out for every meal, an

music

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I didn't really know what to write about this week, so i just decided to fawn over my love for music. I spent about 80 percent of my day listening to music. Ironically enough though at this very moment I am only able to listen to music in my right ear. I recently got an ear piercing in my left ear, and I accidentally slept on it and it started bleeding profusely..... so currently I have wrapped it in gauze and medical tape and I'm praying that the bleeding stops on its own. So to cope with the fact that I can't use both headphones and get the premium listening experience, I'm writing about my love for music.  in my opinion, there is nothing quite better than a nice playlist. for me, making playlists and designing the covers for it is one of the most therapeutic things possible. it's like when people would make mixtapes or cds and then hand make a little cover for it. there is not a single time at school (besides in class obviously), where i'm not listening to mu

never enough time

  ever since i've started college, it's been rough trying to find enough time for me. I have also started a new job, part-time thankfully. I tuesdays and thursdays I go to school from 7 am to 1 pm, come home change then usually go to work until 9. pretty rough. I do love earning my own money, it makes me feel proud in a way. I get tempted to buy so much junk i don't need, when in reality I have college payments and future car payments to make :(. I am treating myself to a brand new piercing this weekend!! wooo I am getting an industrial piercing, which is just a cool piercing for your ear. I personally love the way piercings and tattoos look as they are an external form of self-expression and you can really tell alot about a person based on how they express themselves on the outside. I just wish that things like piercings and tattoos weren't considered "taboo" in society, and that they could be accepted for what they are. I remember taking a medical class a ye